


With You, I'm Floating

by unremarkablegirl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Families of Choice, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor Character(s), Mutual Pining, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, They're only mentioned as necessary thats why, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unremarkablegirl/pseuds/unremarkablegirl
Summary: Monty and Jasper: they’re Arkadia’s best dealers and the of best friends. Something still seems to be missing; if only they could think clearly enough and see what has always been right before their hazy eyes.**Monty and Jasper have been roommates for the past 5 years, best friends since forever and business partners for close to a decade. They run the drug scene in the college town of Arkadia, creating their own concoctions and selling a good time with no troubles. They have all they could want: they're getting their Masters, they found a family in their friends, and they run a successful business. Neither realize that there's only one thing missing.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Jasper Jordan, Monty Green & John Murphy, Monty Green/Jasper Jordan, Octavia Blake & Jasper Jordan, Octavia Blake & Monty Green
Kudos: 9
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	With You, I'm Floating

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elle_stone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_stone/gifts).



> Written for t100fic4blm, [check out the carrd here!](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/)

Monty was checking the books for the month when Jasper rolled through the window from the fire escape expecting to land on a cushion and instead crashing onto the hard floor.

“The fuck?”

“Hello to you too, fuckface.”

A pause, Monty knew that if he looked over Jasper would be shooting those puppy eyes at him, and then, “Monty, Monty, dear Monty. The pillow, where is it? What have I done to deserve this cold treatment? You _know_ I bruise easily.”

Monty barely kept himself from rolling his eyes, not wanting to lose his place on the Google Sheets in front of him before speaking, “Yeah, well, soft landings are only for people that don’t almost giveaway the fact that we have a new product hitting the streets soon.” 

He didn’t bother looking over when he felt the couch dip next to him. He continued working even as he felt Jasper’s arm drape across his shoulders. He broke when Jasper’s chin dug into his shoulder, if only to jerk away from that uncomfortable feeling but Jasper’s grip tightened, not letting him get away. “I get it, Green, I almost fucked up. But! I didn’t! No one important knows and, we did end up gauging customer interest.”

Monty didn’t reply. He tried wiggling out of Jasper’s grasp, unsuccessful. 

Jasper continued, unperturbed, “And anyways, I come with a gift. An offering. A plea for forgiveness,” his other hand appeared in front of Monty, and there laying in his palm were two vials. Their new product. 

Monty could feel himself breaking, wanting to both try the product and ask how Jasper figured it out. He could feel the weight of Jasper’s eyes on the side of his face and he broke. “I’ll bite, how’d you do it?”

Just as the last word left his mouth, Jasper moved away, settling against the couch as he turned to face Monty. Monty mirrored him, feeling oddly cold without Jasper against him. The thought slipped away as Jasper started talking, excited and exuberant as he spoke of chemical bonds and adjusting measurements, rambling in some places. Monty lost himself in thought once he got the most important pieces of information from Jasper’s explanation. He knew Jasper needed to speak, to let out the nerves he had in the face of apologizing to Monty. He wouldn’t interrupt him.

He never would have imagined that they’d end up here. This whole thing had started with them growing weed out of Monty’s backyard and selling it out of the old portables behind their high school and now, almost eight years later, they were the top dealers in Arkadia, a college town too small to be of interest to serious contenders. But, it was perfect for them, and certainly a step up from their urban high school where they had to deal with people both trying to buy them out and fuck them over. 

It had been difficult to keep going once they moved to Arkadia and had to live out of college dorms for a year but Octavia’s brother, Bellamy, came in clutch when he offered up some of his apartment space. They managed to set up a vertical garden—their first serious investment in this venture—on his wall and it was enough to build up their name and contacts in their first year. 

After that first year, they were able to rent an apartment with the money that they had earned and all that they had saved from their high school ventures. It was hard selling it to their parents but between their scholarships, grants, and fictional tutoring jobs, they were able to swing it—if only Monty could also swing convincing Jasper to use the front door instead of the fire escape. Five years later and they were both completing their Masters in the very same apartment that they had since bought out. 

It certainly helped that their studies aligned with their entrepreneurial goals. Monty’s background in chemical engineering and food sciences alongside Jasper’s background in biochemistry and economics made them a formidable duo. Their backgrounds allowed them to expand beyond weed, creating their own cocktails and tweaking pre-existing drugs on the market. Their spin? No addiction, minimal side effects, all around good vibes. Monty worked on building drugs from the ground up, doing most of the legwork before making the executive decision as to whether or not it had the potential to be successful. If not, he scrapped it, otherwise that was when he brought Jasper on board to work on tweaking it for human ingestion. Jasper had been the one to set up their books and such, focusing on ratios and ingredient acquisition and all that; Monty had only bothered learning the basics, leaving the details to Jasper. 

His thoughts ground to a halt when silence rang in his ears, Jasper had finished his ramble on the potential cost/profit margins of their newest concoction. Now, he was watching Monty, waiting.

Monty didn’t even notice the smile that slid onto his own face, relaxed and natural as he took in his best friend. “Sounds great, man! Neat trick with the base bonds to make it purple, definitely a marketing advantage. What I’m hearing is, these are ready for a little trial run?”

The answering smile on Jasper’s face was all the confirmation he needed before snatching one of the vials from Jasper. He uncorked it and held out in front of him. Jasper mirrored him and they clinked vials before downing the lilac liquid. Another selling point of this particular beauty was the slow onset of effects. It allowed one to pregame and still deal with any necessary prep or at least keep their wits about them as they travelled—although driving was still ill advised. 

Jasper used the time to dig out his phone, connecting it to the speakers as he searched Spotify for the perfect playlist. Monty, for his part, had taken to setting up a camera and mic so they could watch themselves later. For all their calculations, they never knew exactly how they’d react to something new, so the recordings allowed them evidence to measure against and analyze. 

After that, he flopped back onto the couch next to Jasper who had laid out snacks on the coffee table. This particular concoction wasn’t meant to give them the munchies, but again, they left them out just in case. They sprawled out on the couch, waiting. When Monty felt the first tingles in his fingers, he pulled out his phone to announce the onset time, some ten minutes after they had swallowed it down. In the back of his mind, he noticed his speech wasn’t slurred or slowed. 

The tingling in his fingers spread up his arms, as a new feeling of weightlessness hit. There was no nausea, he didn’t feel spaced out. He turned to Jasper in question, and when Jasper spoke, his reactions fit that which Monty had been feeling. His speech wasn’t impacted either. 

Jasper continued to speak, “By the way, I figured we could call this Jobi Juice, it’s fun and whimsical and like, makes people think it’s from a plant which is cool.”

Monty found himself nodding in agreement, it was a good name but, “You know, if we needed a tagline or marketing scheme for this, we could do something like ‘Go float yourself’ or something. Like, I deadass feel like I’m floating, I’m liking it. Oh, and it acts as a disclaimer or whatever ‘cause anyone who doesn’t like that sorta feeling won’t buy it and then we can push some _Praimfaya_ for those people instead.” His speech still wasn’t slurred but it was definitely slower than usual, his voice just slightly higher than normal. 

Jasper’s hand reached out to slap him, “Ohhh yeah, that’s good, man!” A pause, “By the way are you hungry, feeling snack-y? ‘Cause I am not and I think that’s another good thing.” His voice, too, was just that little bit higher. Interesting. It gave Monty an idea.

“Noooot really but I could really use some water. Wanna get me some?” Even with all the snacks Jasper had gotten, he had still forgotten water or any other drink. 

Jasper didn’t say anything but he rolled off the couch and promptly fell on his ass. Again. With a grasp on the corner of the coffee table, he was able to get his legs beneath him but his steps were stumbled, weak, unsteady. Having confirmed his theory, Monty spoke for the recording, “Jobi Juice tho-thoroughly affects one’s equilibrium.”

Jasper, now using a hand on the wall to walk, spoke, “Translation: balaaance is shot to heeell.”

Monty kept silent, watching him struggle before inviting him back to the couch, he did not want to see just how unbalanced Jasper could get with a glass in his hand. He waited until Jasper was back on the couch before continuing to speak, “So, uh, either we neeeed to tone it down or mar-market it as some kind of game or party drug cause woahhh. It feels really good, and it is fun to watch people stumble around but also the speech thiiing, what’s up wi-with that?”

Jasper giggled, “I-I think the effects just take a bit lo-longer to uh fully come on. So uh, let’s seeee: shit ba-balance, higher voi-voices, speech patteeerns, feeling wei-weightless which is suuuper plea-pleasant. The fuuuck is up with th-that? And-and it’s not like my tho-thoughts are spaced out, more like my br-brain to mouth filter is la-lagging, y’know? Say something dumb?”

Monty floundered for a second, “Uhh, you’d think that co-coroners would beee the ones to in-induce coronaries.”

“Okay, sooo that doesn’t m-make me wanna laugh myseeelf to death so uhh no hys-hysteria or mania or whatever and I’m pretty suuure I’m not ‘boutta make some dumbass decisions.”

Monty couldn’t help but quip, “That’d be a first.”

Even with the feeling of weightlessness, Jasper managed to slap him right in the stomach, eliciting a little _oof_ from Monty. “Ass.”

After that, they slipped into an easy silence, occasionally punctuated by stray observations and questions about the newly dubbed Jobi Juice. Eventually, Monty tried getting up so that he could judge the vertigo for himself. Just that little bit more agile, he was able to stay on his feet. This was ruined, of course, when he spun around too fast and promptly landed on his ass, to Jasper’s delight. 

Monty grumbled, cussing Jasper out under his breath as he stretched out on the floor, not wanting to try and get up. And that’s how they stayed, Jasper on the couch and Monty on the floor, idly talking and measuring the effects of Jobi Juice on their systems until they fell asleep as their bodies came down from the first hit of a new drug.

**

Monty awoke to the sound of rummaging coming from the kitchen. He took a moment to take stock of his body, feeling in control and no longer having a weightless pit of pleasant nothingness in his stomach. He did not yet want to try getting up so he decided to try out his voice instead. “Testing, testing, one, two, three, mic check.” 

The sounds from the kitchen paused for a second before Octavia’s voice rang out, “Glad to know you’re back amongst the living! Now, come help before Jasper ruins dinner,” followed by the distinct sound of someone getting smacked upside the head. “Drop the peppers! Drop _them!_ ”

Monty snorted to himself before levering himself onto his feet from his spot on the floor between the couch and coffee table, pausing once on his feet to take note of his balance. He looked over to where he had set up the recording equipment but Octavia must have taken it down when she let herself in. As he took small shuffling steps towards the kitchen, he glanced over to the window and saw that the floor pillow hadn’t been put back. At least _someone_ knew how to use the front door. 

By the time he got to the kitchen, his steps were confident; he had slept off the effects of Jobi Juice and he already had a few adjustments alongside marketing ideas to run by Jasper. Octavia too, since she was there. 

Octavia had charged Jasper with watching the stove while she handled cutting the vegetables and such, carefully rationing the peppers. Jasper, great cook that he was, had buds of steel for a white boy. A joke that Monty and Lincoln would never let die down. 

Despite Octavia’s demand that he help with cooking, he took a seat at the island and just watched the other two move around the kitchen. After a few minutes of silence—Octavia deciding not to call him out for not helping—he reached over into a drawer to pull out a pen and notepad to jot down his ideas, concerns, and adjustment calculations. He lost himself in his writing, in the silence, in the company of his friends. At some point, Jasper had put on some more music, this time a playlist filled with electro-swing and instrumentals. It was nice.

After Octavia had added the veggies and spices, and aided Jasper in placing the chicken in the oven, it was a waiting game. Waiting was not something either of the two were good at. This, of course, led to Jasper taking Octavia by the hand and swinging her around the kitchen. With a laugh, she spun back into him, and they started dancing to the upbeat music of _Caravan Palace._ On their next pass, Octavia checked Monty, almost causing him to fall off the barstool. The effect of the glare he shot at her while clinging to the island was dampened by the smile that had taken over his face. Work forgotten, he watched them spin and dip each other around the kitchen. An odd feeling welled up inside him when Jasper pressed Octavia flush against his own body; it brought up memories of their brief puppy love in high school. 

Before he could examine that too closely, an exclamation of _Fuck!_ came from the window. All three of them paused, turning to look at the kitchen entryway as Miller and Murphy came to find them. The two of them paused as well, staring at the tableau in front of them: Jasper and Octavia mid-dance, Monty clutching the island, and the steam coming from the pots on the stove. The music was still playing in the background. 

No one spoke. 

And then Murphy was surging forward, sweeping Monty from his perch at the counter and into his arms, effortlessly falling into beat with the music. With a laugh, Monty relaxed into the dance, letting Murphy lead as he escorted him across the room, one hand on his waist, the other with Monty’s clasped in it. Jasper and Octavia were still frozen, even as Miller slid between them and the counter to get to the stove. There was an odd look on Jasper’s face as he watched Monty and Murphy dance, but a quiet word from Octavia had it slipping from place and then they were dancing again. Monty figured Jasper still found it odd when Murphy acted carefree and dropped the whole asshole act, so he didn’t think too much of that look. 

He lost himself in the music, letting Murphy dip him dramatically before surging upright and switching their roles so that he could lead. He let out a laugh as he caught Murphy by surprise and then he was leading, moving Murphy backwards as he fell into rhythm. Murphy, for his part, took it with begrudging grace, a snort escaping him as he extended his arms dramatically on the next spin. And then, they were laughing as they stumbled through some more adventurous steps. 

An excited shout from Octavia had them switching and Monty ended up with a 5’2 ball of exuberant energy and shouts in his arms as Octavia gracefully fell into him. She shot him a mischievous smile as they fell into an easy one-two and watched Murphy and Jasper fight over who got to lead. Miller, having been fondly watching from his place at the stove where he had taken over dinner, snorted out a hysterical giggle as those two devolved into a slapping match, “Ladies, ladies, we can take turns, can’t we?” 

Even with the mutinous glares Jasper and Murphy shot him, he didn’t stop laughing. Well, until they shared their own mischievous look and made their way over to him. That caused Miller to pause, watching them with suspicious eyes, but he couldn’t stop the two of them as they tugged him from the counter and sandwiched him between them as they swung to the beat. Miller, never one to back down from a challenge, swung his arm over Murphy’s shoulder and tilted his head back against Jasper’s shoulder as he let his hips twist to the music. 

At that point, Monty couldn’t feel his stomach from how hard he was laughing. He and Octavia had taken to leaning against each other, weak with laughter as she snapped the scene in front of them. After that, they devolved into general lighthearted fuckery, dancing and wrestling and offkey singing that had them migrating to the family room. 

That was how the others found them as they came in. Clarke and Jackson both rolled their eyes fondly before moving to the kitchen with the bags of takeout to accompany dinner as well as beer. Meanwhile, Emori and Bellamy had shared matching grins of delight before tackling Murphy and Miller, respectively. Zoe stole Jasper from Octavia and started grinding against him while Harper wolf-whistled and egged them on, leaving Octavia to plop herself in front of the couch. Raven and Lincoln, for their parts, flopped onto the couch with Monty. 

The activities only broke apart when Clarke appeared in the doorway to the kitchen with a pot and spoon in hand, ready to usher them to the dining room. While it had been too formal for them at first, it was the only place where they could _all_ gather and eat comfortably. The dinner, much like the hours preceding it was light hearted and fun, filled with laughter and banter and teasing. There were bumping elbows and a single instance of a spoon catapult. Monty and Jasper were sat at the heads of the table, sharing exasperated eyerolls and sly glances amidst the noise. It was a family dinner like any other—except, maybe just the slightest bit more chaotic. 

It was after dinner, when they retired to the family room with beers in hand that things got serious, with Clarke and Lincoln staying behind to clean up. Jasper rolled out the whiteboard as Monty set up the projector and together they presented the group with their new findings, sales, figures, and timeline for the newly named Jobi Juice. After that, it was an open floor, with Murphy, Miller and Bellamy talking about competition and a group of upstarts that they had bought out followed by Harper and Jackson who spoke of their own findings regarding Jobi Juice and its effects on the human body which ended with Jackson pulling Monty and Jasper aside to draw blood for testing. While that happened, the others brought forth customer complaints, new hotspots, gossip, requests for restocks and all else necessary to run a successful drug operation. 

By the time they had gotten through everything it was close to two in the morning and Octavia had already fallen asleep in Lincoln’s lap. Monty and Jasper went to see everyone out, offering their couch, extra bedroom and weed to anyone that needed it but only Zoe took them up on the offer for weed. 

Monty wandered away, leaving Jasper to say bye to everyone on his behalf. By the time Jasper had closed the door behind Bellamy, Monty had put away the whiteboard, turned off the projector and had already lit a blunt. Jasper picked his way over, careful not to kick at any beer cans before snatching the blunt from Monty, cradling it with long fingers as he brought it to his own mouth. Monty swallowed, throat suddenly dry. He shoved Jasper aside, groping for a can on the coffee table before taking a swing. 

When he looked over, Jasper was watching him, a scrutinizing look on his face. Monty felt defensive. “What?”

Jasper said nothing but he reached out with one hand, tracing his fingers over the bandage at the crook of Monty’s elbow, “Could never understand how you took needles so easily.”

Monty’s skin tingled where Jasper’s hand lingered, his own eyes lingering on the stark contrast between their skin tones. He swallowed again. Tried to be lighthearted, to break this odd tension, “I dunno, guess it's ‘cause I’m the braver one between us.”

Jasper’s hand withdrew from Monty’s arm, his face blank when Monty dared to look up.  
He stayed silent, didn’t respond, instead stretching his other arm out, the blunt an offering between them. Monty took it, careful not to touch Jasper’s fingers. Jasper’s eyes tracked his movements, watching Monty bring the blunt up to his lips. It was Jasper’s turn to swallow. Monty didn’t notice, he had closed his eyes and tilted his head back as he exhaled the smoke. Jasper’s eyes traced the column of his throat. He didn’t notice that either. 

When he did open his eyes, he found that Jasper had his own beer in hand, his gaze mellow, the strange energy between them dissipated. Monty let out a sigh, his body relaxing into the couch as he held the blunt outstretched between lax fingers. Jasper took it without a second thought and then he did what he was best at. He talked. 

Not about school, not about the business, not about anyone they knew but about philosophy. He sat there and spun theories, spoke of those he held in high regard, beguiled Monty with whimsical thoughts of love and wonder and adventure. Monty found himself answering, asking questions, and adding to the conversation as they turned to thoughts of ocean voyages, and magical creatures, thoughts of drowning for love and growing gills for survival. Their beers dwindled and the blunt finished, but they didn’t notice, instead riding the high and whispering wondrous thoughts into the night. Neither noticed that their breaths synced as they dropped off into sleep.

**

This time Monty was the first to wake, and promptly wished he could go back to sleep. He had Jasper curled up against his chest, one arm around Jasper’s waist. They were facing the back of the couch like idiots, meaning that Monty was an inch away from falling off the couch. The warmth he felt in his chest was immediately overshadowed by embarrassment and the flush he could feel crawling over his face. 

Ever so slowly, he lifted his arm from Jasper’s waist, twisted to lay it on the floor and then levered himself off the couch. He didn’t wait to see if Jasper awoke, already turning to the kitchen to get a trash bag for the beer cans and other snack wrappers that littered the family room floor. 

When he returned, Jasper was still asleep, his face now shoved into the couch cushions. Unaware of the fond smile that crossed his face, Monty reached out to check the time on his phone where it lay on the coffee table. Unsurprisingly, he found it dead and instead turned to Jasper’s phone domestically laying next to his own, his display read 12:31pm. Seeing as it was Saturday, that wasn’t a problem but Monty was surprised they slept so late, especially considering the fact that they had been on the couch. 

Given the time, Monty didn’t feel bad about making noise as he cleaned up, crinkling wrappers and not caring when the bottles clinked together in the bag. It was only when he looked up from tying the bag some time later that he realized that he _had_ woken Jasper and that he was now lazily watching him from the couch. His eyes, still sleep heavy, were soft and open as they watched him. Monty figured Jasper needed some coffee before he could truly be considered awake.

“Alrighty, get up, into the kitchen. I cleaned, that puts you on breakfast duty.”

With a groan, Jasper tumbled off the couch and ambled towards the kitchen, grabbing the garbage bag from Monty as he passed. Monty went in the other direction, grabbing his phone to put it in charge and heading to his room to grab a quick shower. 

Once done with his quick shower, Monty grabs his laptop and notebook from his room as well as the SD card from the camera in the family room before heading to the kitchen. He dumps his things to the side of his seat before getting out the plates and cutlery as Jasper plated the hashbrowns and eggs. As Monty popped the toast in the toaster, Jasper got started on the drinks, taking his own frap from the fridge and then making Monty’s tea. They’ve yet to say a word, they don’t need to, not after years of building this routine.

Even as they sit down to eat at the island, Monty’s tea just how he likes it, Jasper’s toast just on the side of too burnt—as he likes it—they don’t say anything. Their elbows brush together every so often, never clacking together. Their hands never get into the other’s way, even when Jasper reaches for the jam and Monty for the salt. It’s almost as if their bodies are in tune with one another. 

Not even after they’ve finished do they speak. Monty gathered the dishes, placing them in the dishwasher as Jasper slotted the SD card into place, opening up yesterday’s recording for review. 

It’s only once they start the recording do they talk, making notes and suggestions, analyzing the scenes and their speech and actions properly now that they weren’t intoxicated. Occasionally, they paused the video, getting into more lively debates and discussions over certain observations their past selves had made. Once they reached the part where they fell asleep, Monty paused the video and they turned to adjusting the formulas they had written down, opening up Matlab to help with the more complex aspects and so that Jasper could graph the intoxication rate vs strength over time. By the time, they were done, it had been a few hours and they had made the necessary theoretical changes to make their next lab visit productive. 

After that, Jasper left with a slap on Monty’s shoulder, off to take his own shower. Monty, for his part, decided to watch the rest of the recording on 2x speed in case either talked in their sleep or something else strange happened. He zoned out watching the recording until sudden movement caught his eye. He quickly paused the video and then set it back 30 seconds before playing it at regular speed. There! Jasper’s hand had fallen off the couch and had buried itself in Monty’s hair. Monty couldn’t see his own face properly because of the coffee table legs, but he could see that he had leaned into the touch, angling his head to let Jasper’s fingers settle more firmly against his scalp. He hit pause, staring at the screen. Unconscious though he had been, it was clear that he had craved the touch. Idly, he wondered when the last time he had gotten laid was. He found that the answer was months. Not since before they started creating Jobi Juice. He didn’t think too much about it, knowing that he didn’t have much time for a more, ah, personal social life between the business, his studies and his friends. He figured, he’d have to get laid soon anyways, just to scratch the itch. 

**

The rest of the weekend was spent on fulfilling restock requests and school work. 

Monday found Jasper barging into Monty’s room at an unholy time. “C’mon Green! You know I’m defending my dissertation to my supervisor today.” He threw open the blinds as Monty groaned. “You promised you’d let me practice on you _and_ that you’d be there for moral support. I can’t do this without you, Green, c’mon!” 

“Yeah, yeah, you know I’ll be there. Gimme fifteen and we can go over your cue cards on the way there.”

Acknowledged, Jasper left Monty’s room, probably to go freak out on his own for a bit. Nimbly, Monty rolled out of bed, getting his shit together in twelve minutes after opting out of washing his hair and instead dousing it in dry shampoo. As he left the room, he was sure to grab some breakfast bars from the kitchen; he was certain that Jasper had forgotten to eat with how nervous he was. When he got to the front entrance, Jasper already had his shoes on and was shifting his weight from one foot to another. 

Instead of commenting, Monty shoved a bar into his hand, got his own shoes on and clamped a hand on Jasper’s shoulder to lead him out the door. He reviewed Jasper’s cue cards on the way over, letting Jasper talk and expel his nervous energy. 

When they arrived outside of his supervisor’s office, they took a seat and Jasper’s leg immediately started bouncing. Jasper was never one to be late, so they were remarkably early for this particularly important meeting. Monty didn’t stop his leg, instead turning Jasper’s attention towards the presentation and having him practice before tossing a few light questions his way, getting Jasper comfortable and reminding him that he knew what he was doing. Jasper’s leg stopped shaking halfway through the first practice run. 

That was how they spent the next half hour, practicing and refining and questioning. But, with two minutes left until the meeting was scheduled to start, Jasper’s leg had started to shake again. 

Unbidden, Monty’s hand shot out, laying itself on Jasper’s thigh and slowly halting the movement. He tilted his head forward until he could look Jasper in the eye, his voice was soft, almost as if he were sharing a secret and not a certainty, “You got this, Jordan. I know you do.” 

Jasper’s eyes roamed his face, almost as if he were looking for something, but before he could reply, the professor’s door opened and he was being called in. With an encouraging smile, Monty let his hand slip off of Jasper’s thigh and watched him walk in, back straight and head tall. Monty took a moment to wish him luck inside his head before pulling out his own laptop and editing his lab report for orgo, not looking up until he heard the click of the door as it opened. 

Jasper came out of his supervisor’s office, his eyes sparkling with excitement and his hand already raised for a fistbump. Monty could feel the smile that split his face, “I _knew_ you had it in you!”

Despite the excitement on Jasper’s face, his voice was soft, if slightly playful, “Thanks, Green.” With that, he pulled away and Monty startled at the realization that he had felt Jasper’s breath on his face, their bodies that close together. 

Jasper had continued talking, “... and anyways, I’ll leave most of the details for later ‘cause I know you have class soon but I’ll meet you for lunch at our usual spot, yeah?”

Monty nodded his agreement and they split ways with one last fistbump as he headed to class and Jasper to the library. 

Some three hours later, Monty checked his phone as he left class finding an old message from Jasper stating that he’d pick up lunch. With that, he headed over to their usual hang out spot on the third floor of the engineering building. 

Exiting the elevator, Monty was just in time to see Bellamy clapping Jasper on the back with a sunny smile on his face before heading for the stairs, leaving Monty just outside of his view. Monty could hear Bellamy’s voice in his head, _it’s the healthier choice, you should try it some time._

Monty approached the table, taking a seat across from Jasper with a questioning look on his face. Jasper merely nudged a tuna sandwich his way, a secretive smile on his face. It wasn’t until Monty had opened the wrap and taken a bite that Jasper spoke.

“I think we’re gonna have a wedding upon us soon, dear Monty.”

Monty stopped chewing, he searched Jasper’s face, looking for a lie and finding only joyous eyes and a wide smile. 

Jasper continued talking, not giving Monty time to voice his reaction, “Yeah, Bell’s finally making an honest girl outta Clarke. He was nervous, still is, y’know? I dunno why though, they’re crazy for each other, they’ve been each other’s anchor for so long, been there for each other through so much, grown with the other and just. They support each other, y’know?”

“It’s about more than just love I think because, yeah, they do love each other, anyone with eyes can see that but love is this fickle little flame that can be blown out with the slightest change of the winds. What they have is an orchard, steady and strong and something that has been built over time _with_ love and dedication, each new flower a memory and the roots, they run deep. They’re anchored and they aren’t going anywhere and they’ve just, they’ve put in the work to maintain what they have. They’re partners first and they work together on that orchard they call their life and love and they, they, they’re happy to do it so long as they’re with the other. I—Monty, I don’t think I want love if I can’t get a partner in crime out of it.”

Monty stared, he couldn’t stop staring. He realized his mouth was open. He closed it, swallowed, stared some more. Haltingly, he put down his sandwich and reached out a tentative hand. Jasper was searching his face, for what, Monty did not know. He didn’t move when Monty’s hand finally landed on top of his own, soft and featherlight before gripping tight. 

He hesitated, swallowed again. Jasper was still staring. Monty couldn’t stand the intensity in his eyes, dropping his own gaze to their hands and that’s where he continued to look as he pulled the words out from where they jumbled and jammed in his throat, “I—shit, Jas. I mean Bellamy and Clarke? Anyone could have seen that coming, and I’m happy for them. We’ll be sure to throw them the wedding they deserve, theirs _is_ the kind of love that poets could go on and on about. But, you? Jas, your love will grow nothing less than a forest. Wild and, and overrun, no rules, no nothing but it'd be the kind of place where anything can bloom because with you? With you, anything is possible.” 

Monty found that he wanted to say more couldn’t bring the words forth, found them to be stuck at the back of his throat, and no amount of struggling would pull them out. He swallowed again. Noted how dry his mouth was. Ignored it and slowly lifted his gaze to find that Jasper had also been staring at their clasped hands. Hesitantly, Monty squeezed Jasper’s hand but did not move. 

He couldn’t say how much time passed, if it was minutes or mere nanoseconds, before Jasper squeezed back and extracted his hand. Monty let him go. 

Jasper kept his head tucked down. Monty was sure that if he looked up, his eyes would be slightly glassy. He did not begrudge him this moment of privacy instead turning back to his tuna sandwich and pulling his water bottle from his bag. Jasper, for all his shouts and flailing arms, did not appreciate attention when he wasn’t specifically acting out for it. Monty knew this. Monty knew him. 

When Jasper did look up, Monty had finished his lunch and was messing around on his phone, not feeling comfortable enough to pull out his laptop in the face of Jasper’s emotions. 

Jasper’s eyes, when he met Monty’s, were steady and clear. His mouth was pulled into a small smile, a soft thing with no teeth, “Thanks, Monty.” 

Jasper looked down again, this time pulling his own laptop from his bag and setting to work. He also pulled out his phone, pulling up Spotify and then offering up an earbud to Monty. Monty took the offered apology and thanks and then pulled out his own laptop and setting to work in comfortable silence punctuated only by _AJR_ spilling from the earbud. 

They stayed like that until Jasper had to leave for his own class of the day. He clapped Monty on the back as he left, “See you at home, man.”

“See you.”

And then he was gone. Monty turned, watching him until he entered the elevator and then turning back to his own work. He had a lab in an hour, figured he’d focus on that and then he’d figure out dinner for Jasper. What he really wanted to do was work on their changes to Jobi Juice but he couldn’t do that until Jackson got back to them with their blood work—having a member doing their residency at the local hospital really was a lifesaver, even if they had to convince him that lying and forgery was alright. 

**

Monty knew that Jasper had promised Raven that he’d drop by to help her with some project, so he had time before Jasper got back home. So, on his way back from campus, he swung around for some groceries, picking up what he needed to make ribs and mashed potatoes—Jasper’s comfort meal.

Monty could afford to take one night off and given that Jasper had just had his meeting with his supervisor, he had time before his next major deadline, he knew they could both afford to take the night off, leaving any business issues to Lincoln. He already had the night planned out: he’d make dinner, ply Jasper with a beer or two and then settle them both down in front of the TV with some weed and ready to play some _Halo._

It was as he was putting the ribs in the oven that Jasper came home, using the front door for once.

Monty knew he registered the smell when he heard Jasper’s shoes hitting the wall in his rush to get to the kitchen where he bounded over to Monty, “Whaaat is that delicious smell?”

And then he was bending over, trying to peer into the oven. 

Monty couldn’t help but laugh, “Ribs and mash, man. I figured you deserved it after all that prep you put into your dissertation presentation.” 

Jasper turned around and, in a whirl of limbs, threw himself at Monty, “This is why you’re my favourite. You really know the way to my heart, huh? How long is it gonna be? Do we have beer? Did you get the sauce I like? Can I help make the mash?” 

With that, they got to work, Monty letting Jasper mash the potatoes as he watched over the meat and sautéed some vegetables. By the time dinner was ready, they had both finished a beer and Jasper was animatedly talking about their quarterly profits and the possibility of expansion. 

Monty took their plates to the family room and Jasper followed like an excited puppy with beers in hand, still talking but this time about how Jackson said the blood work should be done by the week’s end because he managed to tag it as a priority. 

With that, the talk turned to the timeline for releasing Jobi Juice, the marketing, the party, the distribution and more. The TV was playing in the background— _Parks & Rec_—as they spoke but Monty was much more interested in following the trajectory of Jasper’s fork as he gestured wildly. 

The conversation continued, even as they finished dinner and Monty leaned over to grab two pre-rolls from the coffee table, lighting one and handing that first to Jasper. It was only after they had a rough outline for marketing and a list of requirements to send to Echo and Roan for their launch party that Monty turned on the PS4, and grabbed the controllers from the side table. 

Jasper’s eyes glinted. “You’re going down, Green.”

“In your dreams, Jordan.”

**

The rest of the week passed with ease, no problems with any classes or with the business. Restocks went smoothly and Murphy and Miller had been able to pay off campus police to look the other way so long as their products didn’t hospitalize anyone. 

A slight drawback came on Friday morning when Jackson told them that their blood work would take longer than expected due to a hiccup at the lab. That wasn’t a problem but it did put a damper on an otherwise smooth sailing week. 

Of course, Jasper didn’t see it like that, what with his tendency to always look on the bright side of things—or, more accurately, his ability to find a bright side. 

Jasper didn’t bother saying anything about it until Monty had gotten back from his afternoon class. “Hey, hey Monty. You know how we would have spent the entirety of the weekend and then some locked in the lab, messing with Jobi Juice? Yeah, you do. Anyways. I think this is a sign.”

Monty couldn’t help but roll his eyes, even as he walked away, heading to his room. Jasper followed, still talking, “It’s been a long fucking time since we’ve gone out to peddle our own shit, you know, like in the good old days. Don’t you miss it? Talking to people, getting feedback first hand, the thrill of it all. Yeah, you do. _That_ is what we’re gonna do instead: go back to our roots. Connect with our customers.”

By then, Monty had flopped back on his bed while Jasper tried convincing him from his perch on Monty’s desk. Monty opened his mouth, ready to point out several flaws with that but Jasper continued, “I already messaged Octavia, she’s down with us taking over her block tomorrow evening, even told us about a few regulars that’ll probably drop by so, like, we’re good. There’s no reason _not_ to.” That was why he waited to talk to Monty about it, he needed a plan. 

Jasper, seeing the acceptance that had taken over Monty’s face, smiled and jumped from the desk. “Awesome! You won’t regret it, you’ll see,” complete with a sarcastic little bow before leaving Monty’s room. 

Monty was glad he had left before seeing the fond little smile that he could feel on his own face. 

**

For all that Monty acted put upon, he really was excited to get back into the so-called field. As he and Jasper had taken on more and more responsibilities as this endeavour grew, they had to start delegating and bringing their friends in. Half way through second year and they handed over sales ops to Octavia as she and Lincoln whipped their gaggle of friends into dealers. 

Monty could feel a thrum of excitement running through him all day and as he and Jasper left their apartment—this time through the fire escape, just for shits and giggles—he knew that Jasper knew from the smug smile he shot Monty’s way. He didn’t care. 

Jasper had their stock in a nondescript bag slung over his shoulder while Monty had a fanny pack around his chest that he held onto with one hand as they took the bus over to the park that Octavia and Lincoln operated out of. 

When they got to the park, they made one round, then another. Even though it was almost dusk, there were still some kids running around and they wanted to ensure that they avoided them and their parents—for everyone’s sake. 

With that, they slipped away from the main playground down to the little nature path and settled on the third bench they came across. It was far enough away from the kids to be relatively safe and it was the one that Octavia said she used partly because of the beaten track that ran behind the bench through the trees to an alleyway. It was a good contingency and at least allowed for them to skip the residential area and any onlookers that would be there. 

Business was slow for the first half hour but as the regulars began to stop by, things picked up and Monty could feel himself relax into his role as he spoke to his customers and listened to Jasper wheedle them into buying just a bit more or trying out something new like their Light Chips— _no, man, it’s not like ecstasy, it’s better _—or The Veil— _listen, you just wanna relax, you get this _—or even Primes, a more adventurous option— _you wanna feel like you’re not even in control of your own body, you take this._____

_____ _

_____ _

They even had some freshies come their way and they were sure to set them up, give them a bit of a discount to get them coming back for more and ensuring that they didn’t overdo it. Jasper didn’t try selling to them like with the regulars, rather, he took care to ensure that they knew what they were getting into and that they weren’t overestimating their own abilities. The two of them could have easily swindled those students, setting them up on the more interesting of their products, but instead they sent them on their way with just some weed and The Veil. 

This was something Jasper and Monty had always been careful about, even in the beginning: while they were trying to sell a good time, they didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of them. When they were in high school, they stayed out of turf wars, kept their heads down and ensured that they didn’t anger the wrong people. When they came to uni and found the drug scene to be lacking, they capitalized but not before they promised themselves they would do everything not to hurt anyone or get caught up in any violence. They added to that promise when they began making their own drugs because they didn’t want to be the cause of addiction or anything else. 

And, as they spoke to their clients, met with regulars, peddled some new shit, Monty was glad that they made that decision; neither of them wanted to be the reason that someone’s life got fucked up all while they made a quick buck. 

Monty was shaken from his thoughts when Atom and Mbege, two regulars that he did know, walked up to him and Jasper. Both duos went through a round of dapping before settling into a simple conversation. Atom worked at a local bakery and café and Jasper was always trying to get him to admit to his recipes, just as he did in that moment. While Jasper annoyed Atom, Monty turned to Mbege, deciding to let him in on Jobi Juice so that he could spread it to the appropriate circles.

Even after Jasper had exhausted his tactics for getting recipes out of Atom, those two stuck around for some idle conversation, sharing the latest gossip and feedback that they heard from their friends as others dropped by to pick up some weed from Jasper and Monty. 

Their good moods soured when, of all people, Finn showed up on the pathway. The moment he crossed the bend, Atom jumped to his feet and Monty leaned forward, a dangerous glint in his otherwise genial eyes. The other two tensed as well. Finn, the asshole, was blacklisted from ever buying from them and had been led to social ruination at the hands of Murphy and Harper. Despite it being years since his fuck up, they had yet to forgive him and the pain he had caused Raven.

Now, he paused upon seeing them all situated on the bench before slowly turning around and leaving. _Good riddance._

____

____

The group collectively relaxed before Mbege pulled out his phone, cursing when he saw the time, “I told my girl I’d swing by for dinner, today,” he looked over at Atom, “Mind giving me a ride?” 

With Atom’s agreement, and their own purchases shoved in their pockets, the two left, walking in the opposite direction that Finn had come from. 

Once Atom and Mbege had left, Jasper turned to Monty, “Ready to admit this was a good idea?”

Playfully, Monty bumped their shoulders together, “Yeah, yeah, it was, Jas. I think we needed this, just to reconnect with our people.” 

Monty went to say more before noticing the way that Jasper’s eyes had widened as they stared at something just over his shoulder. He went to turn around, there stood Finn and with him was a beat cop to whom he was pointing out the two of them.

Monty whipped around, staring at Jasper who had already slung the bag over his shoulder. Between one second and the next, they were no longer sitting, Jasper having grabbed Monty’s hand with a hiss of, “Dude, we gotta _go!_ ” 

Monty blinked again and they were running down the beaten path behind the bench and there was yelling behind them as the cop told them to stop. _Yeah right_. Monty chanced a glance back and found the cop to be chasing them. _Fuck._

He turned back around and ran for all that he was worth. 

They burst through the fence that separated the small forest from the alleyway and then they were running onto the main street, dodging some dog walkers and dashing across the street. 

Jasper turned back and then he was laughing and Monty couldn’t help but notice the way the light of the setting sun reflected off of his dark hair. Jasper turned around, leaving Monty to stare at the back of his head before speeding up, forcing Monty to as well. And then Monty was laughing as well and they were still running and they were still holding hands. They skipped down a few streets, crossing over another and only when they were sure that the cop was gone did they slow to a halt in another alleyway. 

They both leaned against the wall, still laughing and breathless with the thrill of the run and joy of escape. They were still holding hands. When Monty noticed, his heart skipped a beat for reasons entirely unrelated to the physical exertion he had just undergone. He recalled the feeling of elation he felt when running with Jasper, thought about the fond exasperation he felt whenever Jasper rambled. He revelled in the feeling of acceptance he always felt around Jasper, reflected on his ability to know just what Jasper needed and vice versa. He could not recall when _home_ , in his head, had first begun to refer to Jasper and not their apartment. He stood there, catching his breath while his mind caught onto the realization that he loved Jasper, was _in love_ with Jasper. He did not remove his hand. 

He closed his eyes against this truth and tilted his head back against the wall as he simply breathed. He did not notice the way Jasper turned to look at him, a soft glint in his eyes as he traced Monty’s features in the dying sunlight. 

Neither knew how long they stood in that alley, leaning against the wall and catching their breath but they eventually made their way out, finding the nearest bus stop and heading home. They held hands all the way home. 

**

Begrudgingly, Monty was glad that the crew had at least waited until the next day to invade his family room. And that it offered a good distraction from yesterday’s epiphany. And that Zoe and Harper were kind enough to bring food. But, they had brought breakfast and it was ass o’clock in the morning, the day after he had participated in more physical activity than he had since gym class. In the tenth grade. Also, he had just had a Realization that he was in love with his best friend, he needed time to process. 

He tuned back in as Clarke finished summarizing what they had texted the groupchat the night before, “So, because Finn is a nosy asshole, you guys now don’t know if the cops are onto you and are, like, actually looking for you. Is that right?” 

At their nods, she went to continue but Murphy beat her to it. “So, what _I’m_ hearing is that me and Miller can go rough him up a bit. Just as a little reminder.”

It was fascinating, watching Clarke try to smother her fond approval in irritation, “ _No_ , that’s not what you’re hearing, Murphy. Shut up.”

Like spectators at a tennis match, everyone’s heads snapped to Murphy. “I’m just saying, man. This guy? He still hasn’t learned—ow ow ow. Okay, okay.” And there was Emori, removing her hand from where she had been pinching Murphy’s side. He lifted his hands in defeat and settled back. 

It was Octavia that spoke next, “Anyways…” she trailed off as Bellamy began speaking, his voice gruff with concern, “I think the best thing is for the two of you to lay low, let any lingering concerns or searches from the cops blow over.” Beside him, Clarke nodded in agreement as did Lincoln from his spot by the window. 

Monty was sure that the displeasure was evident on both his face and Jasper’s because it was Jackson that spoke next. “You know we only have your safety in mind, guys. You can use this time to perfect Jobi Juice, so at least you have an excuse to not leave the lab for now. Let us take care of things for a while. Maybe you can help Emori and Harper with planning for the launch party, y’know? Just, we gotta be careful. We don’t want anything bad happening.” It was Miller’s turn to nod from his place next to Jackson. 

Resigned, they had no choice but to agree.

The rest of the morning was spent working on logistics and minimizing the amount of time they spent outside of their apartment for the next two weeks. It was a good distraction. But there was only so long it could last. Everyone trickled out some time after lunch, leaving the apartment empty save for Jasper, Monty, and his newly realized feelings. 

Monty fumbled out an excuse about still being tired, before heading to his room. He wondered if this constituted running away but as he lay back on his bed, staring up at his ceiling, he knew it most certainly did. 

He had spent most of last night, exhausted as he’d been, tracing over the years and trying to find the moment that he had developed feelings for Jasper. He had come up blank on a single moment or event, leading him to believe that it had been a gradual tumble as opposed to the weightless feeling of jumping off a cliff. 

While Monty didn’t know when he had developed feelings, he knew exactly how he should deal with them: deny, ignore, bury. He would not ruin a good thing, a great thing, the best thing he could ever ask for. He didn’t think that it would be that hard, Jasper was a great guy but he could be a bit oblivious at times. 

The way Monty looked at it, he hadn’t known about his own feelings for the longest time, so if he could bury them, then it would be like they never existed at all. Jasper was his best friend and he _could not_ lose him. So, the plan was this: ignore the feelings at least until the launch party, find someone to spend the night with and lose himself in them for the night. It sounded a lot smoother in his head than it’d probably turn out because for all that Jasper was oblivious, Monty was a bit obvious, especially about his feelings. He hoped it’d turn out well. 

**

Halfway through the week and Monty was gaining confidence that his plan would work. It helped that everytime they left the apartment, they had someone with them and that person usually tended to stick around for a bit, either before or after and especially if free food was offered. Monty made sure to always offer free food. 

He hadn’t noticed Jasper throwing him any odd looks, yet, so he felt like he was getting away with acting normal. But now came the real test as Miller had messaged them saying Jackson was on his way over with the results from their blood work. Soon enough, they’d be stuck in a lab together for an unknown amount of time for an unknown amount of days and who knows if they’d be left alone together. 

When Jackson showed up with the results a few hours later, he gave them both an individual report from the lab as well as his own report comparing the results with a smile, “The blood work is good, it seems to flush itself out the system pretty fast. No weird lingering agents or odd interactions with your bodies. It’s solid. But, if you look at Graph B and compare it against the data in Table 3, I do have a few suggestions…” 

With that, they delved into the gritty work of theoretical changes and calculations as they took in Jackson’s proposed changes with the ones they already had in mind, comparing, contrasting, revising and discarding until the family room floor was littered with scrap paper and a myriad of pens and highlighters for colour coding.

They would have continued if not for Miller showing up with food and a reminder to stretch. Thankfully, he didn't make them move to the dining room and plopped the Chinese takeout onto the coffee table amidst their papers and pens, although he did forbid all of them from working until they had finished eating. 

Monty was careful not to watch them as Miller fed Jackson beef and stole shrimp from him when he wasn't looking. He was careful not to think about that being him and Jasper tangled together on the couch. He could feel himself failing when Jasper nudged him and offered him his peas. As Monty slid the peas over, he carefully locked down any feelings and instead focused on the flavour of the food on his tongue. 

After they finished eating, the three of them went back to work while Miller messed around on his phone. By the end of the night, they had a clear outline of the changes they'd make to the chemical composition of the drug and they had booked a lab slot for Friday. 

Monty went to bed content, if only a bit lonely. 

**

As he headed to the lab after his afternoon class, Monty figured they'd soon have to find a replacement when he and Jasper graduated. They couldn't keep using the uni labs forever. They could have rented out some office space or something but the uni labs were free and fit their needs well enough. Free made anything worth it, even the few times they had almost gotten caught. 

He entered the lab with trepidation, nervous that it would only be Jasper in there. Raven’s voice was the first to greet him, then Harper and Jasper. He stifled a sigh of relief before returning the greeting and heading over to the sink to scrub down and get gloves and a pair of safety goggles.

With that, he slid into his role effortlessly, pulling out his notes to compare to Jasper’s and as Jasper and Raven fixated on something that probably wouldn’t be of much use, he took a slide and placed it on Harper’s microscope, showing her what they were looking for, and how the materials interacted with each other. Harper wasn’t as into science as the other three, but she dabbled and was always willing to learn and Monty was always willing to teach; it was fun. 

Only after Monty answered all of Harper’s questions did he pull the other two away from whatever they were doing to focus on what they were actually supposed to be doing. Harper had already washed her hands and was standing at the white board, ready to write down equations as well as a rough outline of what needed to be done. 

With that, they got to work. With Raven as an extra pair of hands and with Harper willing to do calculations and look through their notes, they made a good dent in their goals. They reviewed the original composition, and were able to recreate the individual bonds before going about altering them. Of the five main compositions that made up the final concoction, they were able to adjust two of them after the fact. The other three would have to be recreated with the adjustments thrown into the procedure instead of after it. 

By the time they had come to that conclusion, they had only half an hour before they would be booted from the lab, so they ensured they cleaned up first before heading to a pizza joint for dinner. There, Harper made a more detailed outline of what was left to alter and the approximate timeline for that before sending it to the other three. After that, they relaxed into their meal and company. 

The labs were barred to them on the weekends since they didn’t have any “official” ongoing projects, so they instead booked a slot for Monday through to Wednesday. The way they saw it, if they were able to make the necessary changes by Wednesday, do another test run and have it go off without a hitch, they could start mass production—handing the reins over to Raven for that—and then with that timeline they could start planning the launch. It was a good plan, although Monty wished he had a more concrete timeline so he at least knew when he could finally get laid, hopefully. 

Monty was able to beg off spending most of the weekend alone with Jasper by saying he had his own meeting with his supervisor soon to update her on his analysis of his dissertation. 

In fact, Monty thought he was doing quite well, he kept his lingering gazes to a minimum—and only to Jasper’s back—and he wasn’t turning into a blushing, stuttering mess every time he spoke to Jasper. There was a...problem on Sunday when Jasper came into the kitchen sans shirt after his shower and Monty just—stared. _That_ , Jasper noticed but Monty at least semi-smoothly covered it up by stuttering out a claim that Jasper was sprouting more moles and freckles. And then he ran away. He didn’t notice the considering look Jasper shot his back as he left. 

**

It had been two weeks since Monty realized his feelings for Jasper. He thought it was going well. Sorta. It could be going better. 

Their timeline had gotten pushed back when Monty had accidentally dropped one of the beakers. He was still embarrassed about it: Jasper had been handing him a beaker and their fingers brushed together and Monty, like a lovesick fool, jumped at the touch and dropped the beaker to the floor. That was the worst of his reactions and therefore the only one that mattered. He could bury the longing looks, lingering touches, and spiralling thoughts alongside his feelings but he could not bury the embarrassment. It welled up in him and reminded him of why confessing would be a _bad_ idea. 

That mistake would have only set them back a day at most, but they weren’t able to get another lab slot until that Friday so the whole of the week went down the drain. And then Raven had a conference to go to that weekend, so she wasn’t able to spend more than a few hours on the production plans—not that they blamed her. 

Anyways, the point was because Monty couldn’t control himself, their timeline had been pushed back almost a full week. They were leary of quickening the production because products only launch once and if it got fucked, they were fucked. So, no rushing and now Monty had to wait. 

Currently, it was Friday and he was waiting for everyone to arrive for dinner and then their final trial run of Jobi Juice before production. As he waited, he mulled over why he thought the party and sleeping with someone would be that which made him forget about Jasper. 

It was complicated, but his understanding of his own decision was that he believed the intensity of his feelings would die down after sleeping with someone. He didn’t think himself touch-starved exactly, but he did acknowledge that the fact that he hadn’t had luck in a while probably compounded his feelings. Basically, he thought he’d yearn less if he got his dick wet. And if he was yearning less, he could cut the feelings down until they stayed mostly platonic. He didn’t want to try to find someone to, like, date because he didn’t think it would be fair to that person. It wasn’t the greatest of plans but it was all he had.

A knock on the front door shook him from his thoughts and as the others began to trickle in over the next half hour, his plan slipped from his mind as he took comfort in his family. Jasper and Raven were the last to arrive as they had gone to their manufacturer to finish the new contract and remind them of their ongoing deal of silence. With them was dinner and the vials of Jobi Juice. 

Over dinner, they discussed the plan and launch. Emori and Harper had announced that they’d figured with the whole vial and purple colour thing, they would take this one in a more bougie direction. They’d already reached out to Roan and Echo and told them they wanted a penthouse with a view but no rooftop access. Emori took over when she started explaining that the way they saw it, the vials of purple juice could easily be marketed as the kind of thing that rich people would use, so the penthouse vibes. She went on to say that they were sure to ask for floor-to-ceiling windows along one wall so that people could have fun with the apparent floaty feeling but in a safe way. Harper tagged back in as they started talking about decor and theme before taking over as she outlined catering and the open bar. 

That was how dinner was spent, explaining the plans and finalizing details over pizza and wings and no beer. Zoe had bitched when Jasper had taken the beer from her hand but settled after he reminded her that they couldn’t mix the drug and alcohol when they were finalizing it. Jasper had shot Monty a wink as he had put the beer back and Monty just knew that he had blushed. He had missed the appraising look that Murphy shot him. 

After dinner, they all made their way to the family room where Jasper and Monty handed out the vials. Jackson and Clarke would not be trying it out, instead being the designated observers of this run. 

Once everyone had a vial, Jasper sat next to Monty. Together they counted down for everyone, “Cheers on three. One, two, three!” 

“Cheers!”

And then everyone knocked their vials back like shots. 

“Huh, I thought there’d be a weird taste but it’s actually sorta sweet. I like it.” That was Octavia from her spot in Lincoln’s lap.

Jasper grinned, “Yeah, it was sorta bland before, we thought we’d add some flavour, make it tastier, y’know? More marketable.” 

Monty piped up, “It was Jasper’s idea!” He was careful not to bump his shoulder against Jasper like he would have done before his Realization. 

They spent the time waiting for the drug to set in arguing over the music, with Bellamy teasing Jasper for his taste. They cycled through at least a dozen playlists before Jasper finally gave in and played Spotify’s Hits of the Week as a compromise.

Once the effects of the drug started to settle, they started to have some fun. Jasper and Monty messed around with the others, telling them it was fine to stand and laughing when they fell. Everyone started trying to figure out different party games, taking advantage of their shitty balance, stuttered speech and such. Jackson and Clarke spent the night collecting blackmail. It was fun. 

This time, when the night drew to an end, Monty was sure to insist that the others stay. He made claims about overnight observations and other bullshit. He could see that they weren’t convinced, mostly because they all knew they’d be fighting over the couch, spare room, and floor. 

Monty wasn’t sure how else to convince them but something in him was telling him that he could not be left alone with Jasper tonight. Maybe it was the way they had fallen into each other when they both lost their balance trying to stand on one foot. Maybe it was the way he had kept throwing looks at Jasper when the other had been playing cards. He didn’t know. 

He was resigned to watching the others leave when Murphy of all people spoke up, “Yeah, me and Emori call dibs on the bed. No way we’re taking the bike home tonight.” Monty breathed a sigh of relief as the others slowly started to agree as well until it was only Harper and Zoe that insisted on going home. He let them go. He knew Jobi Juice was safe. They’d get back fine, he had enough buffers here. 

He walked them to the door and then turned back around to the chaos that was his family room. Octavia and Bellamy were playing rock-paper-scissors for the couch while Raven annoyed her way into sharing the bed with Murphy and Emori. Jackson and Miller, the kind assholes, were pulling out blankets and pillows for everyone, having already laid their claim to the carpeted floor of the guest room. 

Monty smiled as he watched it all unfold, feeling content and settled for the first time since he’d acknowledged his feelings. 

This lasted for all of five seconds for Jasper threw his arm around Monty, grinning. “Been a while since we had a sleepover, yeah? Think we can convince Bellamy to make those waffles?” 

Monty was careful not to heave a deep breath, prayed that the blush he could feel on his cheeks wasn’t too prominent and then spoke, “Yeah, Jas, I think we can. C’mon let’s go lock our doors before Octavia tries to worm her way in.” 

Internally, Monty cursed as Jasper walked him to his room, not removing his arm until they got to Monty’s door. “Hey, your face is sorta red. You good?”

 _Fuck fuck fuck_. “Ye-yeah, man. Guess it’s just hot in here with everybody. I’ll be fine once I cool down.” He ducked out from under Jasper’s arm and kept his back to him. He didn’t notice the questioning glint in Jasper’s eyes. 

“Well, if you’re sure. ‘Night, Green,” followed by the click of the door as Jasper closed it.

Finally, Monty let himself heave the sigh that he had been holding in. He let his mind drift, not latching onto any one thought like the feeling of Jasper’s body against his, or the way he smelled like that stupid orange blossom body wash. He let his mind drift and merely went through the motions of getting ready for bed, locking the door—he was serious about not letting Octavia in—and then slipping under the covers. He closed his eyes and then he was asleep. 

He woke to banging and yelling, seemingly ten minutes later. With a groan, he rolled over, grabbing for his phone. He groaned again when he saw that it was almost half past 11. Flopping onto his back, he stared at the ceiling, groggy. 

A knock on his door brought him back into focus. 

“Coming!” He figured whoever was on the other side would leave and then he could get back to his—whatever he was doing. He was wrong.

The knob wiggled. He turned his head, staring. The knob jiggled again and then the door opened to Murphy kneeling on the other side. _Of course_. That guy never went anywhere without his lock picks. 

Murphy smirked as they locked eyes before letting himself into the bedroom and locking the door behind himself. “How was your night, Sleeping Beauty?”

Monty didn’t deign to give him a verbal response, instead flipping him the bird; it was succinct and to the point. Murphy’s smirk only grew. “Scoot over.” 

He didn’t wait for Monty to move, instead settling onto the edge of the bed and curling one leg under himself. And then, Murphy just stared. It was unnerving, his stare. 

Monty could feel himself breaking before ineloquently blurting out, “What!?”

He continued to stare. “How long?”

“How long, what?”

Murphy was still staring, but his eyes softened the tiniest bit. “I saw the way you looked at him, man. How long?”

Monty froze. He could feel the panic starting to creep in. _Was he obvious? Did other people see? Did Jasper know?_

A hand on his ankle accompanied by a soft, “Hey, hey, hey,” like he was some sort of cat brought him back from spiralling. He always forgot how comforting Murphy could be with his callous attitude. He guessed that was sort of the point. He knew he was distracting himself and heaved a breath.

Monty’s voice was tiny when he finally replied, “I uh, realized about two weeks ago. But, I dunno how long I’ve actually felt this way.” He didn’t dare chance a glance up. 

Murphy didn’t speak right away, instead heaving a sigh and pulling his other leg up onto the bed, as well. “You know, Monty—well, first of all, repeat any of this to any one and boss or not, I _will_ end you. But, man, you of all people deserve a shot happiness. Especially because I know that big, stupid brain of yours probably came up with some dumbass conclusion that it’d be better for everyone if you don’t say anything because you don’t want to ruin a good thing. No, you don’t have to nod, I know I’m right.”

“But, Monty, my dude, have you thought that maybe Jasper loves you back? What you two have it’s, it’s, it’s strong and it runs deep and it’s survived everything that fucking destroyed any past relationships you both had. That’s not the kind of thing you run from, that’s the kind of thing you hold onto and never let go of. You hoard that shit selfishly.”

Monty hesitantly lifted his eyes from the cover to stare into Murphy’s passionate gaze. Monty wasn’t sure what Murphy read in his face but the passion in his eyes dimmed, leaving behind a look of resigned exasperation. “Fine, dickweed, don’t take my advice. But you better expect an ‘I told you so’ when this all turns out alright.”

With a final squeeze to Monty’s ankle, Murphy made for the door, throwing a quick, “By the way, breakfast should be done by now,” over his shoulder. 

Monty did not yet feel up to seeing the others, so he opted for a quick shower instead.

As he stood under the spray, he mulled over what Murphy said, but even with the encouragement, he didn’t think that it was a good idea. Murphy was a known risk-taker, he didn’t care about the consequences. Monty did. He couldn’t take the risk. He couldn’t blow it all on a _what-if._

Resolve strengthened, he finished up and made his way to the kitchen, following the scent of food and the sound of laughter. 

**

The next two weeks passed in a blur of plans and details as they worked to throw the perfect launch party. It was almost enough for Monty to forget about his feelings, except for when Jasper shot him his mischievous smiles and his heart fluttered. Or when Murphy, the insufferable prick, sent him knowing looks when the others weren’t watching. But he could forget that and drown himself in working on ensuring everything went smoothly.

All that work coalesced into tonight. The moment of truth. 

As Monty combed his hair, he knew it was the moment of truth for more than one reason. The bigger one was the successful launch of their product, yes, but the one most important to him was that this was the night he tackled his feelings for Jasper. 

After one final check in the mirror, Monty went out to the family room, waiting for Jasper on the couch and texting Bellamy since he and Clarke had offered to pick them up. At the sound of footsteps, he looked up. His mouth went dry. He couldn’t swallow. 

Jasper—Jasper looked good. Black skinny jeans, dark green button down with the cuffs rolled up—forearms—and the top two buttons undone. Monty didn’t bother looking at his shoes, instead zeroing in on the black that outlined Jasper’s eyes. That was new. It looked good. He looked good. Really good. Fuck, he needed another adjective. 

“You look good.” _Fuck._ Monty stuttered as he continued, “The eyeliner’s new. I like it though.”

“Thanks, dude. You too,” accompanied by a little smirk as Jasper went to take a seat next to Monty. Before he even sat, Monty’s phone went off, the caller ID reading _Clarke_. At least he wouldn’t be left alone with Jasper while he looked like _that_. 

Monty didn't speak in the car, instead letting the others' voices wash over him as he resolutely stared out the window and not at Jasper’s long sprawled out legs. 

He only spoke after Bellamy parked, "Let's do this!" The other three cheered and whooped in response. 

Monty was scared that he'd be left to stay by Jasper's side while they finished up and waited for the first of the guests but they were separated almost immediately. Harper steered Jasper by the arm, showing him where they were dispensing the drugs while Echo took Monty aside to talk business. 

By the time they finished speaking, the first of the guests were arriving and Monty started in on welcoming them and introducing them to the star of the night, slipping vials into their hands with a wink before slipping away to greet someone else. 

When it starts to get crowded, Monty figured he'd made enough rounds and headed to the refreshments table to grab a water bottle and some snacks. He knew he could easily get a rum and coke at the bar, but something was telling him not to risk it. For once, he didn't want to lose control. 

As he looked around the giant space, he saw Jasper talking to some guy, Wells or something, he was Clarke's friend. And he was _fit_. Monty turned away, feeling tempted to at least grab a beer but resisting. He instead looked for the others—he knew he was stalling on his so-called plan but ignored that fact. Raven was talking to Wick, their manufacturing contact, but from how close they were standing, he doubted they were talking business. Clarke was dancing with Harper and Zoe while Murphy and Emori were teaching some people how to play one of the games they had come up with for the drug. That looked promising. 

Monty made his way over and then Emori was introducing him and he lost himself in the conversation and laughter and teasing. He loved seeing people enjoy his creations and these people looked especially happy. He stayed with them for a bit before deciding to make a few more rounds and managing to make some sales on _Praimfaya_ and _Light Chips_ with those that weren't interested in the weightless feeling of Jobi Juice. 

When he felt like he'd put it off for too long, he made his way to the dance floor. It took him a bit before he fully relaxed and lost himself in the music, dancing to the beat. He could feel the smile work its way onto his face as he let go of the tension he'd been carrying for the past month. He found himself dancing with a gorgeous girl with legs for days but couldn't find it in him to be interested. He slipped away. He found himself dancing with a girl, and then another but he knew that for this plan to work, he'd have to find a guy, preferably one that looked nothing like Jasper. But then, he danced with a guy and then another and then another. He couldn't help comparing each of them to Jasper and then finding them lacking, either they looked too much like him or they looked too different. He couldn't figure it out. He needed to figure it out. He wouldn't mess this up, he couldn't. He won't ruin a good thing, he _won't_. He needed air. He found himself slipping away from his latest partner and heading towards the balcony. 

Immersed as he had been in both his dance and his thoughts, he never noticed the way Jasper watched him flit from partner to partner. He didn't notice as Jasper followed him out onto the empty balcony. 

Monty startled when Jasper appeared at his side, leaning his elbows on the banister and looking at the view. He didn't speak, waiting instead to see why Jasper followed him. 

The longer he waited, the more tense he got. At the sound of Jasper’s voice, he only tensed more. “I saw you dancing in there. Trying to pull tonight?”

Monty chanced a glance over at him, unsure of what to make of his tone, but Jasper was looking out straight ahead. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry but he did not answer. 

Jasper kept talking, “Y’know, you’ve been acting different this past month. At first, I thought it was the stress of the launch plus, like, school. But that’s not it, is it? It’s something more personal.” 

Monty still didn’t speak.

Jasper continued, “Not gonna say it? Okay, well, I guess I will.” He heaved a sigh, his fingers flexing where they gripped the banister. Monty’s eyes followed the movement of his fingers, noticing a slight tremor, chalked it up to too much gin. 

“I–I—shit, Monty. I’ve lived with you for five years, I’ve known you since we were kids. I know you better than I know myself, man. And you know what I can say about you? That you’re kind, you’re loving, you’re tenacious and strong and crafty but you have a heart of gold and the strongest morals of anyone I know. I know you spend more time worrying about others than yourself. I know you’re incredibly smart and you’re gonna revolutionize something someday.” His voice softened as he whispered this last part, “I know that I love you. I know that I want to be with you, be there for you, be yours.” 

Monty could feel his heart thundering, hear it pulsing in his ears. He didn’t know what to say. He wondered if Jasper was drunk, figured he had to be with what he was saying. 

Shaking his head, Monty spoke as he turned to go, “You’re not even sober. You-You don’t know what you’re saying, man.”

Jasper didn’t speak again until Monty was at the balcony door. “I thought you were the braver one between us.” 

Incensed, Monty turned back to retort but what he saw broke his heart. Jasper stood there with his arms outstretched, fingers spread and trembling. His eyes were open and soft—and damned if Monty didn’t recognize that look now—his head tilted down as he stared at Monty through his lashes. And now? Now Monty knew that his fingers were trembling from nerves, and he held in him the certainty that Jasper didn’t touch a drop of drink nor anything else, just as he had. Now? Now, he understood in a way he never did before. 

He felt clumsy as he made his way back to Jasper. Gained confidence as he captured his hands in his own, bringing them up to his lips, murmuring, “I think _you’ve_ got bravery to spare.” 

Jasper’s eyes searched his face—this time, Monty knew what he was looking for and that he would find it. 

“What’re you saying, Green?”

Monty, always the quieter of the two, gathered his own courage, found courage in the depth of Jasper's lined eyes, found the words in his heart and then spoke, “I'm—I’m saying, I love you. I love you and your eclectic music and your messiness and your cooking and, and your rambles and the way you lose yourself in theory and your sense of adventure. I love you for everything we’ve done together, for everything you’ve pushed me to do and for everything I know we’ve yet to accomplish. What say you, Jordan?” 

Jasper didn’t reply verbally, instead lowering his head to brush a chaste kiss across Monty’s lips. He pulled back, but Monty followed, throwing his arms around Jasper’s neck and then they were kissing and Monty felt light enough to walk on clouds. Even when the kiss ended, they stood there, foreheads pressed together, bathed in glowing lights and breathing in the other. 

Reluctantly, Jasper pulled away, saying that they should get back to the party and the empire that awaits. He took Monty by the hand, tugging him back inside. Just before he opened the door, he turned back with glittering eyes and his mouth pulled into a small smile, a soft thing with no teeth, “I think with you, our love could rival the Amazon.”

Monty never would have imagined they’d end up here, but as they descended into the party—a reflection of their recent success—as they found their friends, the family they created, and as Jasper keeps their fingers intertwined, he knew he was where he belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i managed to sneak hand kissing in there :D
> 
> say hi on [tumblr!](https://unremarkablegirl.tumblr.com) :)


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